I was thrilled to be having a girl for my first, and potentially only child, I had hoped for a girl, I had no idea what I would DO if I had a boy. Everything I wanted in a child screamed traditional Girl characteristics.
I convinced my husband to have a second child when our daughter was about 10 months old, I knew someone was missing from our family, and I knew that once I was out of the baby stage I wouldn’t want to go back. With our daughter we booked a 3D ultrasound when the regular ones didn’t show the sex, and were relieved when she was in fact a she. But the second time around neither of us cared and we never asked. Baby would be a surprise, something I definitely recommend. When he was born a He it didn’t phase us, we figured kids couldn’t be that different just because of their sex, and maybe in some cases that is true but in our case our boy is all boy, and our boy and girl are very different. He is rough, he is dangerous, he runs away first chance he gets and laughs about it when I run after him, he is messy, for some unknown reason everything about him smells stronger or worse than my girl baby’s did. When you put him near dirt he grabs handfuls of it and immediately puts it in his hair.
The thing I didn’t know about boys is how much harder they love you. My daughter loves me, but from 6 months on she couldn’t wait to get away from me, wanted me when she needed me but only wants what she wants. I remember trying to snuggle her as a 9 month old and her pushing me away, “go away mom, I’ll have none of this!”
My son has those moments too, but not even close to the same intensity or frequency. He wraps his arms around my legs and hugs them while I make dinner, he throws himself into my arms recklessly, knowing I will catch him, he stares at me with a happy grin and touches my hair and face, just to be touching me. When I lie him on my chest (even now at 22) months, he drools, because he is so content to just Be on me, this comforting place he once called home that is my body. I should have guessed he was a boy with the way he thrashed around in utero, pushed out with his feet, he was strong even then. As an infant I remember looking at him and saying to my husband, “I know she loves me most of the time, but this baby REALLY loves me.” And I love him, and know that how I treat him and how I behave has a huge impact on how he will see women, on the type of women he will date and someday marry, just as is affects the woman my daughter will be. That is huge motivation to work towards being better every day, for myself and for them. I want my children to have a mother who is a healthy role model in all aspects of life.